I hate people. So much. So I especially don't like it when dumbasses say stupid shit to my face. I also don't like it when dumbasses say stupid shit on TV, or somewhere not to my face but I still hear about it. I'm just going to run down a list of stupid shit fuck heads have said to me...
"Sorry man I was drunk" (as an excuse for breaking/losing something)
Well MAN I really couldn't give less of a shit if you were drunk, or on heroin, or just plain old retarded, I want my 20$ back. And you better find my fucking phone charger. It's not my fault that you can't hold your liquor/don't know when to stop drinking. Let's put this out there right now: BEING DRUNK IS NOT A FUCKING EXCUSE FOR DOING SOMETHING STUPID. "Oh but you shouldn't be held responsible for your drunk actions because the alcohol affects your judgement bla bla bla" Well it was your fucking idea to drink the shit anyways. So man the fuck up and find my shit fuck face.
"I'm quitting facebook" (as a Facebook status)
This one is pretty god damn cut and dried. If you are quitting facebook, its probably because you say you don't care about it or it gets in the way of your everyday life. So why THE FUCK would you take time and effort to get on a computer and announce the fact that you will not be on facebook anymore? Are you that popular that people will be upset? Hold on, let me answer that question for you. NO. People who do this are human contact whores who can't wait to get fucked in their figurative loose asshole by the horse cock of attention.
"I'll never let go Jack, I'll never let go" - that whore in Titanic
Hahahahahahaha flash forward 2 minutes later BOOM Jack is a drowning victim.
Some dumb bitch had the nerve to tell me that "that's what she said" is from The Office. Now, I love The Office as much as anyone whos not borderline retarded but "that's what she said" is from Wayne's World. And when I told her she was wrong, she said that she knew for a fact that it came from The Office. So of course I kicked her dead in the ovaries. Because no one wants a dumb whore like that reproducing.
"Having a kid when I was in high school/any younger than 24 was the best thing that ever happened to me"*
Well...You must have had a shitty life before that. Have fun not getting laid and hanging out with an infant all the time. Sounds super awesome to me...NOT
* This also pertains to people who get married before then...I don't care how many times you post a facebook status about how in love you are, unless you're a member of a strict religion, your marriage is going to pull a Flight 93 within 2 years. Unless you never find out about how your wife gets railed on the weekend by a dude named Johann. But then you still lose so it really doesn't matter.
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