"You can't judge a book by its cover!" -referring to some nerd who I just called a turd sucker
Yes I fucking can. If some kid is wearing a tapout shirt and cargo shorts while hitting on some fat goth whore then I can be pretty fucking sure he is a tool. That doesn't make any sense, to not judge a book by the cover. That's where the fucking title is! Am I supposed to read half the fucker in Barnes and Noble? No. I do not have that kind of time to just spend at Barnes and Noble. I am also not one of those cheap fucks wearing a leather vest and slip on vans who just walk into a bookstore and read for hours without buying anything. So don't fucking preach to me that I can't judge a book by its cover.
"That was a game-changing play" -something Chris "I drank a gallon of paint thinner before the game" Collinsworth or some other fucking asshole announcer says
Oh really Chris? No shit? That play changed the outcome of the game? It must be different from all the other fucking plays that had no effect whatsoever on the outcome of the game. FALSE every single fucking play changes the game. You are a professional announcer, its your god damn job to entertain me with your speech, come up with something a little less generic than "that was a game changing play". At least John Madden was entertaining, even if he had the equivalent of a third grade literacy level.
"Expect the unexpected" -lots of women say this, therefore it must be stupid
If you're expecting the unexpected then its not fucking unexpected. Should I walk outside right now and expect a pterodactyl to come swooping out of the sky and eat me? No. Should I expect whores to stop saying "meow" instead of now? Unfortunately, no. Stupid fucking saying said by stupid fucking people.
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