#47: Nicki Minaj

According to wikipedia, Nicki Minaj was (unfortunately) born on December 8, 1984 in some stupid fucking poor shit hole in the Caribbean that gets hit with hurricanes more than Charlie Sheen hits women. Apparently her father "drank alcohol, took drugs, and once tried to kill her mother by setting the house on fire.", aka what any normal person would have done if they had to live with Nicki Minaj and her mom. Too bad Nicki Minaj is probably Satan's mistress or some shit and can't be hurt by fire. Oh here's a fun quote: ""[w]hen I grew up I saw females doing certain things, and I thought I had to do that exactly. The female rappers of my day spoke about sex a lot... and I thought that to have the success they got, I would have to represent the same thing. When in fact I didn’t have to represent the same thing." Blah blah blah. Its impossible to be sexy when you look like the fucking Cocoa Puffs bird with fake tits. This one is funny too: "While some songs and interviews have implied that Minaj is bisexual, she has said that she does not date nor have sex with women, but added in an interview with Out magazine, 'I don’t date men either'." HA as if anyone who has a normal amount of chromosomes would want their dick anywhere near that fucking abomination. This is a person who lists Lil Wayne as her main influence, not just in rapping but in real life. a) She is nowhere near the level Lil Wayne is at rapping because she's fucking horrible and women can't do anything better than men anyways. b) Lil Wayne is a worse fucking role model than Osama bin Laden. He shot himself in the chest ON ACCIDENT, just got out of prison, and calls a guy named "Birdman" his daddy. I wouldn't be bothered at all by her horrific "songs" if she didn't get so much fucking attention for them. Sample lyrics from her smash hit "Your Love": 'S' on my chest cuz I'm ready to save him Cuz I'm the one like I'm Tracy McGrady...AGGGHHHHH its like a trifecta of shit lyrics.
1) A fucking superman reference in a rap song, how original. I bet I won't find very many if I look it up on Google...
Superman-Eminem, All Black Everything-Soulja Boy, Crank That Superman-Soulja Boy Superman-Brown Boy, Superman Song-Auburn, Superman-The Game, Superman-Skee Lo...thats just from the first page. Yikes.
2)Women talking about sports, which is just stupid because they obviously don't know what the fuck they are talking about. Tracy McGrady has sucked dick for the last like three or four years. Its not like he was ever anywhere close to the best in the NBA anyways.
3)Rhyming words that don't actually fucking rhyme. Uhhhh say it out loud. SAVE HIM/MCGRADY...Nope doesn't rhyme. Hey look everyone, I can rap like Nicki Minaj: If there were no consequences for my actions/I would blow her brains out the back of her head with a fucking shotgun. Didn't rhyme? Who cares just Auto-tune it. I'll say something about batman afterwards. Oh and listen to the chorus of "Your Love". Its got a fucking stupid reference to Bruce Willis and then she goes BA BA DAT DAT DOH and it reminds me of Forrest Gump after that principal guy nails his mom. Don't try to fucking say that its just my opinion because you can't objectively judge music. Nicki Minaj does not make "music". She puts words TO music. There is a big difference. And the words she does put to music are stupid and unoriginal. If she weren't friends with Lil Wayne and if she didn't get whored out by the media no one would give a fuck about her at all.