Come on Tom. I love you as much as the next guy but wtf? Your first mistake was marrying that freak Helen Hunt whose forehead is the size of my god damn couch. It’s whatever. Maybe you’re into bitches with huge foreheads and banana tits. I’m not judging you. But once you got back from the middle of butt fuck nowhere and found out your dentist was plowing your wife like a fresh row of corn, you didn’t even say shit to him! At least call him a dick or something. And, when Helen 'my forehead sheltered Katrina victims that couldn't get to the superdome' Hunt comes back to try and suck you off, you deny her! Who gives a fuck if she has a family! You’ve been forced to whack off for the last 4 years! At least get that first nut...But no. And that chick you delivered the package to! If that’s not a move that will get you laid, count me out of the pussy game forever. Instead you just stood in the middle of the road and waited for the credits. Christ Tom.
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