Hey spider asshole who the fuck do you think you are? You would think 124832 billion years of evolution would arm you with the knowledge not to build a web that I fucking walk through every god damn day when I come out of my house. But I guess not, because every time I walk out the front door you have an ass silk special waiting for me right at eye level. And don’t think you’re clever hiding from me when I try to find you and kill you, I know you’re there because I tear down that shit hole you call your home every fucking day. Do you actually live there? I’ve seen better homes on Katrina footage. And what kind of fucking bugs fly up into the corner of a screen door? I’ve never seen one in there. I’m pretty sure you do this just to fuck with me. If so, then I want you to know that I have flushed probably 6-8 of your blood relatives down the toilet. One time, just to send a message, I tossed one in there and then pissed on it just so you fucking spiders would get it. But you didn’t. How can you fucking survive long enough for me to notice you building a new web every day? I catch big spiders sometimes and they’re in terminal dreamland after like one day. I swear to Christ when I catch you you’re going to fucking burn.
Hey guess who this is? You guessed it - the spider. You call me a shithead again and I will lay eggs in your ear and then take a massive dump on your face....which, let's be honest won't be big - but still, it's poop.
ReplyDeleteAnd BTW, 12 billion years vs 150 thousand years basically says that I know a little more than you do about surviving now doesn't it? It's only a matter of time before you dipshits run out of oil or blow yourselves up. So let's not talk shit about who's able to do what okay?
"I’m pretty sure you do this just to fuck with me" - well, you got one thing right :)
you really are sick in the head spider. touche.
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