#20: Beaches in the PNW

Okay this is a little off topic but first I would like to say, how bad ass are tiger sharks? I don't know if all sharks do this but apparently before a tiger shark is born, he/she has to eat a sibling in the womb for sustenance. What the fuck nature? That means every single tiger shark cruising around out there is literally a born killer. And not only do they take a life, but they kill a baby! Tiger sharks straight up don't give a fuck. I bet if they could vote they'd be pro stem-cell.

Any who, I’d rather be an infant tiger shark with gimp fins than to go to a fucking beach around here. Why do people like it? Does it make them feel cool to tell their friends "Ya dude just gonna friz it up at the beach today maybe get some saltwater taffy, take some facebook pics. It’s whatever"? Because that might be cool in San Diego or some shit where the beach is 80 degrees and flat sand for miles, but its retarded as shit up here. Yay 50 degrees and overcast with a 40% chance of rain... NOT COOL. Well maybe we'll just lay a towel out and relax...NOPE it’s always windier than shit and you get like 13 pounds of sand in your eyes. What about all the cool wildlife Josh? GO TO A FUCKING AQUARIUM it’s not like you ever see anything except dead kelp and maybe a couple stupid crabs when you’re at a real beach anyways (or those asshole anemones that don't really squirt water when you poke them). What a fucking buzz kill. I'd rather listen to a Nickelback album all the way through than go to the beach.