#67: The Fucking Radio

I'm actually typing this as I shit. It's pretty relaxing. And as I'm sitting here taking the Browns to the Super Bowl I realized something: I would rather listen to an audio file of me shitting on a loop than listen to the radio. I mean who fucking listens to the radio? And if you do, Why? Just go download whatever song you want for free. That way you don't have to hear some fuck head screeching about credityes.com every five minutes. Or Tom Shane imploring you to buy his diamonds or else he'll come to your door and continue to drone on like he's a fucking alien in a human suit and he doesn't know how to talk normal. Its not like the radio plays good music anyways. I heard Katy Perry's "Firework" exactly once before it got old. Her songs aren't half as good as her tits are. Once radio gets hold of a song, they fucking play it FOREVER too. Its the same 15 songs just on fucking repeat over and over for months on end until Rihanna puts out another atrocious album and fucks all the DJs for airtime (at least I assume that's how she gets on the air). What the fuck is with that song "Rude Boy"? Call me rude boy boy is you big enough? What kind of fucking lyrics are those? Just come out and say it Rihanna, you want some dick. Get it out of your system so you can focus on making actual songs not 5 minutes of vocal foreplay. Disgusting. I don't want to hear that shit from someone who looks like her anyways. Fucking go back to Pandora (the planet from Avatar, not the music site) where you belong.


The worst part is when the DJs think I want to hear them talk about stuff that me and all the other people in the world don't give two shits about. Cool you went to the waterfront and saw the parade along the Willamette. So did 14,000 other people and they don't feel the need to tell everyone who listens to Z100. Its not like once the music comes on the situation gets better anyways. I haven't intentionally listened to the radio in like 5 years because it is so fucking horrible. I mean sometimes you're in someone else's car, usually a slut, and they turn the radio on and of course they have to turn it up cause KE$HA IS ON and that music gets girls psyched to blow cock or something, whatever. Radio is like that annoying fat friend hot chicks have. You don't want it there, ever, but sometimes you have to listen to it in order to fuck some strange.