#66: This Person, Whoever They May Be

Open this up in a different tab and read along while I make fun of her stupid ass

I was doodling around on google and I came across this blog, and I said hmm look at this. This person and I are kindred spirits, they complain about shit too. So I went and read it. And let me tell you, this person and I have nothing in common. This person is a fucking loser piece of shit and everyone should hate them forever and ever. I mean seriously, how can you hate on New Year's Eve? A quote from the article: "I haven't had a good New Year's since 2004." Well who's fucking fault is that? It's not everyone else's responsibility to make sure your lame ass has a fun time. That's what alcohol is for. Seriously, how hard is it to get drunk? Obviously not very hard, because the broke ass mexican fucks in the apartments a couple blocks from my house do it every day (and get in fist fights in front of their kids). The only problem I can see for not having a good time on New Year's is if you have no friends. But that's really more of a problem that lasts all year than a problem that only shows up December 31st. You can tell whoever is writing this is a chick beause the first things you see are pictures of celebrities and food. Fucking whores. Then she complains about how expensive food is...She lives in fucking LA. If you want cheap food you probably shouldn't live in a city where the average income is like 6 million dollars and you probably shouldn't live in a state that has a debt the size of Kristen Stewart's front two teeth.

In high school, this person apparently got a hotel room for her and her friends on New Year's. They got kicked out before midnight because they were being too loud...That's when you tell whoever is in the room across from you to fuck off and smash a bottle across his face. You don't say Oh okay sorry sir we'll just fuck right off! Although I'm sure your shrill woman screams about how drunk you were after a glass of champagne would have made me want you as far away from me as possible too. So you probably deserved that one.

Then two years ago, she had tickets to see Gnarls Barkley and The Flaming Lips live and says, and this is a direct quote, "Sounds good right?" ...NOPE. Not at all actually. News flash, bands centered around computers and not instruments are gay as shit live. I didn't know anything about the Flaming Lips though so I went and checked a live video out on youtube...I got as far as the part where there were like 8 people onstage dressed up as rabbits and I fucking stopped because a) that's fucking lame and b)all that had happened in the first 1:30 was a drum beat and some feedback. Oh and the singer twirled a ribbon around. Maybe that's cool to people with vaginas but definitely not people who listen to good music.


There's even other people that have posted their little New Year's horror stories and its like if I wrote a blog about how I hated New Year's. Although instead of being "funny" and "offensive", they are "stupid" and "obviously written by a dumb fucking whore". Here is my favorite, and remember this is a direct quote from a real person named Andrea:
"The stupid economy is going to make everything suck. People will be less cheerful because they are behind on mortgages. Having no place to sleep bites. God, how I hate a recession."
That's the entire entry. What a fucking stupid whore thing to say. It combines two things women love to do when they open their mouths for something besides sucking dick, namely complaining and trying to sound intellectual. You can tell that she has no idea what the fuck she is saying, she just wanted to use the words 'economy', 'mortgage', and 'recession' in a sentence. People will be less cheerful because they are behind on mortgages? No, people will get more hammered because they are behind on mortgages. Plus, no one gives a fuck if you have nowhere to sleep. And the fucking economy? Give me a break. Since when is New Year's an expensive holiday? It's not like you have to buy any fucking gifts for people. All you need is like 40 bucks for a half gal of some cheap whiskey and RC cola for the women at your party who insist on chasers. And if you can't afford that then its not the economy's fault, its your fault for being a poor broke fuck.