Wednesday, December 22, 2010

#62: People Who Think They Are Just Too Fucking Cool

What the fuck is your problem guy? I was "kicking it" with my "bro" the other day and his friend happened to tag along. I knew something was wrong with him the moment I noticed he was wearing a Lacoste shirt. Or whatever that brand is with the fucking stupid alligator, I'm not 100% sure. Anyways, his white loafers and shirt with two buttons told me one thing: This kid (who will be referred to as Fuck Face from now on) was a piece of shit. I was trying to hit up Ross for some sickter gnar deals but apparently that didn't sit too well with Fuck Face because he wanted to go to the mall. "Ha what are you 12?" I said to Fuck Face. "No man those clothes are just stupid. They're cheap and I'd rather go to Hollister."
WEEEEOOOOOOWEEEEEEOOOOOO That was the douche alarm and its going off like mad right now. What a stuck up asshole! Hollister is for people who like taking big hairy dicks right in the cornhole. Maybe not literally, but figuratively. Its so stupid how people will put something down simply because its not expensive enough. Wow cool your parents bought you a fucking 2008 Evo, that doesn't mean you can talk shit about my '83 Subaru. Because though you may get to the mountain faster, I will still destroy you at snowboarding since you are A) a fuck head and B) a spoiled fuck head. It doesn't matter if you have the nicest 2011 gear ever, I could ride my friend's toy plastic board and still be cooler than you. I also hate it when people talk shit about Wal-Mart. So the fuck what if they pay the retarded people that work there in shiny buttons, I like getting my Pop-Tarts for 20 cents less. Not to mention fast food places...I've known so many Fuck Heads to show complete disdain for Wendy's and then go out and blow 40 dollars at Applebee's because apparently its "classy". News flash, it doesn't matter where you go out to eat, you probably work at a tanning salon or Target or some shit and therefore nothing you do will ever be classy. Nothing on the Applebee's menu is better than a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger anyways. Get off your fucking high horse. If you don't get off your high horse I'm just going to put it down anyways. DOUBLE ENTENDRE

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