Sunday, January 16, 2011

#76: Toby Flenderson

King of the fuck heads. A ginger. An old person. Divorced. In essence, satan incarnate. I think Michael Scott described Toby best when he said "Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun, or exciting, you make it... not that way. I hate... so much about the things that you choose to be..." Fucking Human Resources? What kind of shit show job is that? Cool Bachelor's degree you got in Psychology, you really have a lot of options with one of those. That's like getting an English degree from Clark Community College. Toby should have just fucking stayed in Costa Rica with the rest of the red-headed sad sacks. Word on the street is that Toby is even colorblind. Nice going fuck head. What's with the crush on Pam, too...Can you say creeper status? A) she has a husband and B) she's like 20 years younger than you Toby. Get a fucking grip dude. Toby is from HR and so he's not a part of the Dunder Mifflin Family, plus he's divorced so he's not really a part of his family. He's also a racist. Ont time he went to Darryl's house to find out if he was committing worker's comp fraud(he wasn't). He then proceeded to yell at Darryl's sister along with Dwight, making a complete ass out of himself. At least Dwight gets laid, its okay for him to be an asshole. Toby is the kind of person that would look at a bird laying on the ground outside the office, assume it was dead and walk inside. Without even a second thought. He is offensive and lame, so double offensive. Who does he think he is? What gives him the right? Toby has been cruisin for a brusin for 7 seasons, and I am now his cruise director. And my name is Captain Bruisin.

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