#74: Gay Ass News Stories That People Care About For Like 2 Weeks Then Forget

This one was sparked by me seeing shit from a bunch of sluts on facebook who thought that the homeless guy who has a great announcing voice is a real inspirational story and its so touching and bla bla bla fucking Hallmark Sandra Bullock bullshit. Yeah that's a great story, give a homeless guy with a history of alcoholism a shit ton of money all at once. Now there's a recipe for success! I give it two months, max, before this guy is back on the streets. Although this time he will probably be face down in a pile of his own shit/puke next to empty bottles of Night Train. Remember those Chilean miners? Yeah they still haven't unionized and they still get paid in tortillas because after they were out of the mine they went back to complete anonymity. What it boils down is people being fake fucks. You don't care about the plight of some poor bastard in a third world country, you just don't. If you did, you would be there helping them out not sitting on your ass using your iPhone to donate 5 dollars to Haiti. What's Haiti? Oh yeah its still a shit hole. Thanks for your "help" building those houses Angelina Jolie. I wouldn't want her helping me with anything, let alone the house I'm going to live in. I wouldn't be surprised to find out Haiti was missing a few orphans after she left too (she would have taken them, its a joke based on her prior adoptions and the subsequent negative press she had gotten). That Zodiac sign bullshit...Who the fuck cares? If you rely on your Zodiac sign to determine the choices that affect your life then fuck you, you deserve no sympathy from anyone because you are a shit head. Not quite a fuck head, but still a definite shit head. Swine Flu. Bird Flu. SARS. The tsunami/earthquakes in Sumatra. That fuck head (yes he is a legitimate geriatric fuck head) pilot who couldn't fly a fucking plane and landed it in the Hudson river because he was old as shit and can't drive a fucking car probably let alone an airplane full of people. Balloon Boy. The people who crashed the inaugural White House dinner or whatever. Et cetera et cetera et cetera. Just a bunch of shit whores and fuck heads pretend to care about in order to seem philanthropic and impress their "friends".