Phil Phuong's Facebook(Nice profile pic btw, what are you 12?)
Where do I even begin...Phil Phuong is one of those people where you see them and the street and you just burst out in laughter, but you don't bother to hide it from them because you know they couldn't beat up a 4 year old girl with polio. Phil's dick probably looks like a 4 year old girl with polio too, but just on a way smaller scale. I saw Phil the other night and he was wearing this jacket that had like 57 fucking zippers on it. Everyone at the party was like LOL look at Phil's jacket, it has more zippers than Phil has restraining orders (which is saying something). Then Phil proceeded to stink up the only bathroom with his gross asian dumps and try to blame it on other people. We all know what happened Phil. Shouldn't have had the Panda Express for dinner. Then to top it all off, Phil was hitting on this chick (read: being a creep hardcore) but he got shut down bad and then had this face that I can only describe as a "Tiger Woods after he misses a 3 foot putt" face. Which is really the only face Phil ever has on because he is a total and complete loser.
Showing posts with label Asians. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Asians. Show all posts
Friday, January 28, 2011
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
#65: Math
Anyone out there who is planning on being an accountant, or a tax person or whatever the fuck its called, just know that you do a useless job. Your life, if you choose to pursue said career paths, can be done faster and more accurately entirely by a computer. Really you are getting paid to press buttons. Your life is a glorified, and yet, paradoxically underwhelming, video game.
Congratulations on wasting your entire college education on trying to become what I can pick up at staples for under 20 dollars.
Math in general has got to be the fucking stupidest thing ever. Oh sure it was great at one point, around, oh I don't know, WHEN JESUS DIED!!!! Until the fucking abacus came along and rendered the ability to count in your head useless!!! Completely and utterly fucking USELESS. Useless like having a land phone line. Useless like "poking" people on Facebook. Useless like Stephen Hawking's legs.
Useless since 1942!
And now guess what, there's an even better and easier way to count shit and it goes by the name of A FUCKING CALCULATOR! You can literally add, subtract, multiply, fucking submultivide, I don't care whatever you want, ANY number that ever existed! Or will exist! I wasted so much fucking time on math in school. The first 6 years (K-6th grade) I learned addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, and OMG long division. Which was nuts back then...Until I learned it took a FRACTION (see what I did there) of the time to press "14" "divided by" "23" and get 0.608695652. That would have taken me longer than it took James Cameron to make Avatar if I had to long divide that shit. Then in middle school it was Algebra where somehow letters were numbers and the little letters were more numbers and just a bunch of confusing shit. Yet, I just got a new more complicated calculator and it still did the math for me. And in high school it was fucking statistics, all kinds of fuckheadery, but I STILL COULD DO IT ALL WITH A FUCKING CALCULATOR.
...Fuck my life
College I'm not too sure because I finally figured out how retarded it was and didn't pay attention. I just stared at this super hot asian chick who was one of those rare asians that didn't have a fucking flat child size ass. I mean her ass was NICE. Fucking asians are always good at that math shit too so you know its useless. What else are asians good at? Kung-Fu? I'll get a gun and shoot you before you can karate kick me. Eating with chopsticks? I'll get a fork. Or a spoon. Or (wait for it) A SPORK. Having little weiners? Not even gonna say anything about that one. Math is fucking lame. I rest my case.
Congratulations on wasting your entire college education on trying to become what I can pick up at staples for under 20 dollars.Math in general has got to be the fucking stupidest thing ever. Oh sure it was great at one point, around, oh I don't know, WHEN JESUS DIED!!!! Until the fucking abacus came along and rendered the ability to count in your head useless!!! Completely and utterly fucking USELESS. Useless like having a land phone line. Useless like "poking" people on Facebook. Useless like Stephen Hawking's legs.
Useless since 1942!And now guess what, there's an even better and easier way to count shit and it goes by the name of A FUCKING CALCULATOR! You can literally add, subtract, multiply, fucking submultivide, I don't care whatever you want, ANY number that ever existed! Or will exist! I wasted so much fucking time on math in school. The first 6 years (K-6th grade) I learned addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, and OMG long division. Which was nuts back then...Until I learned it took a FRACTION (see what I did there) of the time to press "14" "divided by" "23" and get 0.608695652. That would have taken me longer than it took James Cameron to make Avatar if I had to long divide that shit. Then in middle school it was Algebra where somehow letters were numbers and the little letters were more numbers and just a bunch of confusing shit. Yet, I just got a new more complicated calculator and it still did the math for me. And in high school it was fucking statistics, all kinds of fuckheadery, but I STILL COULD DO IT ALL WITH A FUCKING CALCULATOR.
...Fuck my lifeCollege I'm not too sure because I finally figured out how retarded it was and didn't pay attention. I just stared at this super hot asian chick who was one of those rare asians that didn't have a fucking flat child size ass. I mean her ass was NICE. Fucking asians are always good at that math shit too so you know its useless. What else are asians good at? Kung-Fu? I'll get a gun and shoot you before you can karate kick me. Eating with chopsticks? I'll get a fork. Or a spoon. Or (wait for it) A SPORK. Having little weiners? Not even gonna say anything about that one. Math is fucking lame. I rest my case.
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