#83: More Of Me Belittling People I Have Not Ever Met/Will Ever Meet Yet Still Piss Me Off Immensely

I just typed in "woman blogs" on Google, lets see what pops up...

http://girl-woman-beauty-brains-blog.com/
Not a great title but catchy nonetheless...Although unfortunately in the very first paragraph we run into some stupid whore-speak. A couple of fucking assholes died, I don't know who the fuck they are but she says this about them: "...unlike Matt Richtel, it is my belief that wherever Russell Shaw and Marc Orchant may find their "heaven," I will bet you, they are blogging about the newest heavenly gadget or exposing heaven's gaffes."
Yeah that's what they're doing. Fucking blogging about the new iPhone (ChristTime™ your friends!) or whatever the fuck up in heaven instead of shit like using a cloud for a trampoline, or banging Reese Witherspoon at a cocktail party (Little Nicky reference), or fucking NOT SITTING ON A GOD DAMN COMPUTER TYPING ABOUT BEING IN HEAVEN. Also, who the fuck does this lady think she is? Exposing heaven's gaffes? Does ChristTime™ only work in certain Starbucks locations or something up there? I'm sure there are just SOOOOOOoooOOOO many things wrong with heaven. It sounds like an awful place. FALSE you would have to be a big dumb cow to think something like that. Which this person probably is.

The paragraph after that one contains the phrase "a child of two would testify in terms more graphic than a prostitute as to how her uncle molested her" so we won't discuss such crude things on this highly scrupulous blog.


Alright new blog this one is getting too stupid for me to even insult...
LOL there is one blog called the "Women In Science" blog. Cooking is technically science I guess...Or maybe they just talk about how things like getting knocked up work and how to be irrational/moody all the time.
Still looking for a new one though...Oh dear god.

http://www.womentalksports.com/

What the fuck is this. Who approved the existence of this blog. I'm going to go out on a limb here, before I even click on the link, and say that the first thing I see is going to be a discussion about Troy Polomalu's hair or how hot Derek Jeter is. Oh nope, I was wrong. The first thing I saw was actually a gigantic ad for Slim-Fast. I don't even have a joke for that. I mean honestly sometimes this shit just writes itself. I'm gonna click on the Winter X Games link, at the risk of throwing my computer through the sliding glass door that is 4 feet away right now. Hmm its just a schedule of the events. No lists of athletes or anything...If you're gonna fucking copy and paste shit from ESPN.com then ladies maybe you shouldn't get distracted by the new episode of Modern Family halfway through and forget what you were doing. Embarrassing. By the way, the only ads I have seen on the site so far are for either diamond companies or weight loss companies. News flash: One of those comes before the other one. Hint: its not the one with "diamond" in the description. No one wants to marry a heifer. Oooh live blog this is going to provide some quality material for me to shit on I bet. First one: What Did I Win By Playing Sports by Some Whore With A Long Name. "Believe it or not, writing and athletics are very similar" ...I believe you! Yep! for one, I can name wayyyyy more famous male authors than female ones. And, even the best female authors get paid fractions of what the men do, if only because of good old sexism in the workplace. Hey ladies that shit's been going on for years, and just like the faucet you wanted me to fix, you can whine all you like but no one's going to fix it for you. This blog is just shit as well. The twitter feed on the side that says "Girl Talk About Sports" has been constantly updating with people's opinions of the latest American Idol as well so...Take from that what you will.

Okay I'd really like to get personal before I get off the computer, so I'm gonna look for one single person blog that I can really just insult and hopefully bring that person to tears.

Here's a good one: http://www.imnotjudging-imjustsaying.com/

She's not "judging" she's just "saying". I'm not "racist" I just "hate all races that aren't white". I'm not "a misogynist" I just don't "respect women". I don't "not pull out" I just "forget not to cum inside her". Already on my shit list lady...HOLY CHRIST SHE'S FAT AS FUCK...Sorry I just got alarmed when I saw a picture of her. Oh there's a great post...She has pictures of the BP oil spill and then the caption "WTF!?! How in the hell did this happen? Who was on watch? Why is that person not on trial or dead? And why has no one done anything to correct it?" Well it was people like you and me lady. We are the people that fucking whine and bitch and moan about gas when it gets over 2 dollars, then go fill up our 30 gallon SUV's without blinking an eye. The only difference is that I don't get upset when something (OMG) goes wrong and spout unspecific accusations at no one in particular to try and seem educated. Also, 99% of the world pays over twice as much as we do for gas so fucking suck it up. This is a video of her and I think it speaks for itself.

#28: Women's Sports

Hey did you guys hear about this? ESPN is running this story actually...This kid who is 15 years old can dunk. Yeah apparently only like 2 or 3 fifteen year olds ever have dunked. Wait you didn't mean 15 year old you meant woman? Well put that story in the file marked "things no one gives a flying fuck about". Seriously, why do people still try to put up the front that anyone anywhere cares about women's sports? Especially the ones that don't involve revealing clothing...It's just stupid. No one watches shark week to see nurse sharks eat 3 inch wide crabs, they watch shark week to see 14 foot great whites rip baby seals in half two miles off the coast of White and Rich -I mean South- Africa. The same way no one wants to see Lisa "Muff Diver" Leslie jump 5 inches off the ground and do a shitty one handed "dunk". People want to see Shawn Kemp get 5 feet off the ground and put his sweaty nutsack directly into Shawn Bradley's face as he breaks the glass. Although I'm sure Shawn Kemp has shoved his cock into some women basketball players' faces as well, but its just not the same. And softball players...dear god. They always have female commentators (horrible idea for any sport, let alone a boring one) on the softball games. Why, when some pudgy Hawaiian bitch hits a home run, do they always freak out and talk about how much power she has? ...The fences are like 220 feet! I hit home runs that far when I was fucking 12. No one put me on TV or gave me a college scholarship for it. Kudos to the Olympics for coming to their senses and getting softball out of there. Its kind of hard to field enough teams anyways when 50% of the countries don't even let their women go out in public without wearing sheets over their faces and pioneer woman dresses. Quick who is the most famous woman in sports? That's right...Erin Andrews. And she doesn't even play any sport. She just happens to like walking around in her hotel room naked and getting filmed while doing it. Don't even try to tell me that whore didn't love the whole thing either. Show me a female sports reporter who doesn't crave male attention and I'll show you a lying slut who probably got a train ran on her by the entire NY Jets (cough Ines Sainz cough), except Rex Ryan who probably hasn't seen his own dick in 30 years cause he is a fat fuck. But don't call me a chauvinist, I'm all for women playing sports. As long as they are physically attractive, it doesn't get in the way of them sucking me off, and no one takes them seriously.