Thursday, March 17, 2011
#99: Women On Facebook
Hey you cunts put down the Ben and Jerry's for a second and listen up. It's time to cut that shit out. You know what I'm talking about. You know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. All the fucking little posts about how "he is my one and only" and how you are "so lucky to have my snugglebear" or some other retarded shit like that. I realize facebook is designed so that you can share things with your friends but it gets to a point where even your bff is going to stab you in the fucking temple if you don't shut the fuck up about the hipster guy with the beard and how he "gets your feelings". Most of these posts are just desperate whores trying to convince themselves that they aren't actually desperate whores. You can tell because they will post something like "so lucky to have him in my life" and you will think to yourself who the fuck is this bitch talking about. Then you realize she's talking about her new boyfriend she has been going out with for like 5 days. I would be happy for you, if I didn't know for a fact that you were going to break up in a month or so. This has happened like 5 times that I know of before, its happening right now, and it will inevitably continue happening until the end of time. You know it, I know it, everybody knows it. So just shut the fuck up about being soul mates until you get like 1 or 2 years under your belt. Although if you can do that you're probably more mature than an autistic 5th grader and therefore won't post stupid whore shit anyways.
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I'm guessing you were weeping as you were typing this one. Buck up little camper, one day a girl will choose to date you.
ReplyDeletewell no I was not "weeping", as you so heterosexually put it. I have had girlfriends before, which makes me completely happy that I don't have one right now. Buck up little fuck head, one day your girlfriend will let you get to third base
ReplyDeleteDude you can always try prostitutes. They'll have sex with you. You will have to come up with some money though. So there is a trade off :(
ReplyDeletei would def not be able to afford prostitutes, i am broke as fuck. but its okay because when you live in a town like vancouver there are plenty of girls with low self esteem who require nothing but a few compliments (which cost me nothing) to get in their pants. unfortunately they probably have the same amount of STD's per vagina but i solve that problem by double bagging. or puttin it in their b holes.
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