#99: Women On Facebook

Hey you cunts put down the Ben and Jerry's for a second and listen up. It's time to cut that shit out. You know what I'm talking about. You know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. All the fucking little posts about how "he is my one and only" and how you are "so lucky to have my snugglebear" or some other retarded shit like that. I realize facebook is designed so that you can share things with your friends but it gets to a point where even your bff is going to stab you in the fucking temple if you don't shut the fuck up about the hipster guy with the beard and how he "gets your feelings". Most of these posts are just desperate whores trying to convince themselves that they aren't actually desperate whores. You can tell because they will post something like "so lucky to have him in my life" and you will think to yourself who the fuck is this bitch talking about. Then you realize she's talking about her new boyfriend she has been going out with for like 5 days. I would be happy for you, if I didn't know for a fact that you were going to break up in a month or so. This has happened like 5 times that I know of before, its happening right now, and it will inevitably continue happening until the end of time. You know it, I know it, everybody knows it. So just shut the fuck up about being soul mates until you get like 1 or 2 years under your belt. Although if you can do that you're probably more mature than an autistic 5th grader and therefore won't post stupid whore shit anyways.