Life is too short-Is it though? How many things are you going to do that will last longer than the course of your life? Oh that's right fucking nothing. People say this to me when I don't feel like doing something retarded, like "come on dude just shit on this guy's lawn with us. Life is too short." Well actually, IT'S REALLY NOT THAT FUCKING SHORT AND I FAIL TO SEE HOW TAKING A DUMP ON SOME FUCK HEAD'S GRASS IS GONNA MAKE IT GO BY ANY SLOWER
Don't bite off more than you can chew-Is this even fucking possible? You can't take a bite of something WITH YOUR OWN MOUTH and then have said bite be more than you can chew WITH YOUR OWN MOUTH. Its simple fucking math people. If you can't chew it, its not gonna fit into your mouth in the first place (insert dick joke here).
Have your cake and eat it too-Okay, thanks? Does anyone ever come into possession of a cake without intending to also eat it? No one fucking goes around buying cakes to put on the wall for their cake collection.
Lastly, there are two sayings that I suppose make sense on their own, but so many whores use them that I noticed they DON'T FUCKING MAKE ANY SENSE TOGETHER. If one of these is true then the other one can't be just by process of logic.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder-This is what dumb cunts say when they have to be away from their precious boyfriend/husband that they cannot function for more than a day without, or when they have just watched the Notebook and are feeling philosophical. And by philosophical I mean they looked up myspace quotes online.
Out of sight, out of mind-This is what dumb cunts say when they have just recently become single and they want to forget about their boyfriend/husband. If they can't see them, then obviously that means they are totally over him and are ready to mingle (aka get plowed after drinking with a guy named Frank at a shitty bar and then cry on the taxi ride home in the morning)...
LOL one of these sayings has got to go. Either someone is gone and you don't miss them or they're gone and you miss them more. Seriously. It's fucking ridiculous. The shit people will say to make themselves feel better. Just stop and think about what you are saying before you say it and then (not a guarantee for you females out there) you won't sound like a dumb fuck.
Showing posts with label Women Being Stupid (Like They Do Anything Else). Show all posts
Showing posts with label Women Being Stupid (Like They Do Anything Else). Show all posts
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
#83: More Of Me Belittling People I Have Not Ever Met/Will Ever Meet Yet Still Piss Me Off Immensely
I just typed in "woman blogs" on Google, lets see what pops up...
http://girl-woman-beauty-brains-blog.com/
Not a great title but catchy nonetheless...Although unfortunately in the very first paragraph we run into some stupid whore-speak. A couple of fucking assholes died, I don't know who the fuck they are but she says this about them: "...unlike Matt Richtel, it is my belief that wherever Russell Shaw and Marc Orchant may find their "heaven," I will bet you, they are blogging about the newest heavenly gadget or exposing heaven's gaffes."
Yeah that's what they're doing. Fucking blogging about the new iPhone (ChristTime™ your friends!) or whatever the fuck up in heaven instead of shit like using a cloud for a trampoline, or banging Reese Witherspoon at a cocktail party (Little Nicky reference), or fucking NOT SITTING ON A GOD DAMN COMPUTER TYPING ABOUT BEING IN HEAVEN. Also, who the fuck does this lady think she is? Exposing heaven's gaffes? Does ChristTime™ only work in certain Starbucks locations or something up there? I'm sure there are just SOOOOOOoooOOOO many things wrong with heaven. It sounds like an awful place. FALSE you would have to be a big dumb cow to think something like that. Which this person probably is.
The paragraph after that one contains the phrase "a child of two would testify in terms more graphic than a prostitute as to how her uncle molested her" so we won't discuss such crude things on this highly scrupulous blog.
Alright new blog this one is getting too stupid for me to even insult...
LOL there is one blog called the "Women In Science" blog. Cooking is technically science I guess...Or maybe they just talk about how things like getting knocked up work and how to be irrational/moody all the time.
Still looking for a new one though...Oh dear god.
http://www.womentalksports.com/
What the fuck is this. Who approved the existence of this blog. I'm going to go out on a limb here, before I even click on the link, and say that the first thing I see is going to be a discussion about Troy Polomalu's hair or how hot Derek Jeter is. Oh nope, I was wrong. The first thing I saw was actually a gigantic ad for Slim-Fast. I don't even have a joke for that. I mean honestly sometimes this shit just writes itself. I'm gonna click on the Winter X Games link, at the risk of throwing my computer through the sliding glass door that is 4 feet away right now. Hmm its just a schedule of the events. No lists of athletes or anything...If you're gonna fucking copy and paste shit from ESPN.com then ladies maybe you shouldn't get distracted by the new episode of Modern Family halfway through and forget what you were doing. Embarrassing. By the way, the only ads I have seen on the site so far are for either diamond companies or weight loss companies. News flash: One of those comes before the other one. Hint: its not the one with "diamond" in the description. No one wants to marry a heifer. Oooh live blog this is going to provide some quality material for me to shit on I bet. First one: What Did I Win By Playing Sports by Some Whore With A Long Name. "Believe it or not, writing and athletics are very similar" ...I believe you! Yep! for one, I can name wayyyyy more famous male authors than female ones. And, even the best female authors get paid fractions of what the men do, if only because of good old sexism in the workplace. Hey ladies that shit's been going on for years, and just like the faucet you wanted me to fix, you can whine all you like but no one's going to fix it for you. This blog is just shit as well. The twitter feed on the side that says "Girl Talk About Sports" has been constantly updating with people's opinions of the latest American Idol as well so...Take from that what you will.
Okay I'd really like to get personal before I get off the computer, so I'm gonna look for one single person blog that I can really just insult and hopefully bring that person to tears.
http://girl-woman-beauty-brains-blog.com/
Not a great title but catchy nonetheless...Although unfortunately in the very first paragraph we run into some stupid whore-speak. A couple of fucking assholes died, I don't know who the fuck they are but she says this about them: "...unlike Matt Richtel, it is my belief that wherever Russell Shaw and Marc Orchant may find their "heaven," I will bet you, they are blogging about the newest heavenly gadget or exposing heaven's gaffes."
Yeah that's what they're doing. Fucking blogging about the new iPhone (ChristTime™ your friends!) or whatever the fuck up in heaven instead of shit like using a cloud for a trampoline, or banging Reese Witherspoon at a cocktail party (Little Nicky reference), or fucking NOT SITTING ON A GOD DAMN COMPUTER TYPING ABOUT BEING IN HEAVEN. Also, who the fuck does this lady think she is? Exposing heaven's gaffes? Does ChristTime™ only work in certain Starbucks locations or something up there? I'm sure there are just SOOOOOOoooOOOO many things wrong with heaven. It sounds like an awful place. FALSE you would have to be a big dumb cow to think something like that. Which this person probably is.
The paragraph after that one contains the phrase "a child of two would testify in terms more graphic than a prostitute as to how her uncle molested her" so we won't discuss such crude things on this highly scrupulous blog.
Alright new blog this one is getting too stupid for me to even insult...
LOL there is one blog called the "Women In Science" blog. Cooking is technically science I guess...Or maybe they just talk about how things like getting knocked up work and how to be irrational/moody all the time.
Still looking for a new one though...Oh dear god.
http://www.womentalksports.com/
What the fuck is this. Who approved the existence of this blog. I'm going to go out on a limb here, before I even click on the link, and say that the first thing I see is going to be a discussion about Troy Polomalu's hair or how hot Derek Jeter is. Oh nope, I was wrong. The first thing I saw was actually a gigantic ad for Slim-Fast. I don't even have a joke for that. I mean honestly sometimes this shit just writes itself. I'm gonna click on the Winter X Games link, at the risk of throwing my computer through the sliding glass door that is 4 feet away right now. Hmm its just a schedule of the events. No lists of athletes or anything...If you're gonna fucking copy and paste shit from ESPN.com then ladies maybe you shouldn't get distracted by the new episode of Modern Family halfway through and forget what you were doing. Embarrassing. By the way, the only ads I have seen on the site so far are for either diamond companies or weight loss companies. News flash: One of those comes before the other one. Hint: its not the one with "diamond" in the description. No one wants to marry a heifer. Oooh live blog this is going to provide some quality material for me to shit on I bet. First one: What Did I Win By Playing Sports by Some Whore With A Long Name. "Believe it or not, writing and athletics are very similar" ...I believe you! Yep! for one, I can name wayyyyy more famous male authors than female ones. And, even the best female authors get paid fractions of what the men do, if only because of good old sexism in the workplace. Hey ladies that shit's been going on for years, and just like the faucet you wanted me to fix, you can whine all you like but no one's going to fix it for you. This blog is just shit as well. The twitter feed on the side that says "Girl Talk About Sports" has been constantly updating with people's opinions of the latest American Idol as well so...Take from that what you will.
Okay I'd really like to get personal before I get off the computer, so I'm gonna look for one single person blog that I can really just insult and hopefully bring that person to tears.
Here's a good one: http://www.imnotjudging-imjustsaying.com/
She's not "judging" she's just "saying". I'm not "racist" I just "hate all races that aren't white". I'm not "a misogynist" I just don't "respect women". I don't "not pull out" I just "forget not to cum inside her". Already on my shit list lady...HOLY CHRIST SHE'S FAT AS FUCK...Sorry I just got alarmed when I saw a picture of her. Oh there's a great post...She has pictures of the BP oil spill and then the caption "WTF!?! How in the hell did this happen? Who was on watch? Why is that person not on trial or dead? And why has no one done anything to correct it?" Well it was people like you and me lady. We are the people that fucking whine and bitch and moan about gas when it gets over 2 dollars, then go fill up our 30 gallon SUV's without blinking an eye. The only difference is that I don't get upset when something (OMG) goes wrong and spout unspecific accusations at no one in particular to try and seem educated. Also, 99% of the world pays over twice as much as we do for gas so fucking suck it up. This is a video of her and I think it speaks for itself.
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