#111: Dudes Who Text Like Chicks

We all know these people. There's always at least one guy in your circle of friends that just sends random ass "emoticons" or whatever the fuck you want to call them when they are unnecessary. Its like alright bro I know you have a girlfriend but jesus fuck learn to differentiate between the tone of a message to her and one to me (and while you're at it, kick that bitch to the curb, hell yeah) cause its weirding me out.

Let me post for you a text I received the other day, from a male someone who will remain nameless for their own sake. "I talked to my mexican brothers & they get $12/square. You okay with that? =-?\=D/" Now, I am going to ignore the slight racist tone of the first part of the text and focus on the two smiley faces at the end separated by a /. I'm not even sure what =-? is supposed to be, maybe its like a "can I suck you off?" face. Which I wouldn't mind except the small detail of the person sending me this was of the male gender. And despite what many closet homosexuals will tell their friends, getting your dick sucked by a guy is not only gay if you're the one sucking. It goes both ways (pun intended). So no thanks to that first smiley face pal. The second one is a little more straightforward, the classic =D. Now I'm not going to say for sure, but I'm about 90-95% sure that anyone who thinks that putting the D instead of a ) is cool shit is actually a fucking idiot. So there's that faux pas. Plus, when you send smiley faces to a dude and you are a dude, again, it sends weird messages.