#35: People Who Care Way Too Much

Alright its getting annoying. Im glad you give a shit about Darfur or whatever the fuck is happening right now that high school girls worry about, but I really don't. Unless the people in Darfur are my friends or family (they are not), they can fuck right off. People who care way too much about this kind of shit are really just going against human nature, in addition to being annoying as tits whenever they open their mouths. Sorry to burst your bubble but people naturally don't like other people. When anyone plays The Sims do they run around being nice to people? Do they go around building houses for hurricane victims? No they do not. I have seen, however, people burn down a house full of children, burn down a house full of adults, and also burn down a house full of children and adults. Because let's face it; its wayyyy easier (and more fun) to just not give a shit about people you have no connection to. Snotty bitch voice: "But thats just a video game that doesn't even apply to real life." Well okay. Say you're in a car crash. The driver is always going to protect themselves before anyone else because he/she is reacting instinctively, aka looking out for themselves and saying fuck you guys, you can take that hubcap to the temple cause I would like to stay alive. That is the basic structure of human life, as in people with control or power over other people will always excercise that power/control to benefit themselves. There's no use in being a fucking peace corp bitch or donating to world hunger, because there will always be some other fucking problem someone has that they want you to care about and fix for them. We all know half those people that donate money or post some gay pride awareness shit on facebook are doing it for personal recognition anyways. I am all for gay people having the right to marry, and its not like I give a fuck if someone is gay. But I can't exaggerate how little I care that Johnny Asslicker's dad hates him because he takes dicks in the ass on the frequent. That is a problem between Johnny Asslicker and his dad, and nothing I do will ever change either of their minds. Its the same way with the women's rights bullshit in Africa or Iraq or wherever the fuck it is that its happening. No towel head son of a cunt is going to wake up one day and say "Hold on Gupta...take that veil off your face, and here's your clitoris I hacked off when we got married! I just got a letter from some guy in the United States who says that degrading women is terrible and that they should be treated equally! Let's go get a falafel together!" Why wouldn't that happen? Because those people don't give a fuck about what other people have to say. Its kind of like in high school when I would try to talk to some super hot chick. She might listen, but there's no way she's going to go out with me, or even remember who I am like 10 minutes later. The dune coon can read my letter, but later he's just going to laugh and show it to his friends. There's a better chance that Larry King is going to whip out his dick on-air then there is that black people will get reparations, or that Iraqis will stop killing homos, or that people in the deep south will stop being homophobic racists, or that the BCS will change to a playoff system...I could go on and on. But I just don't care anymore.

#11.5: People Who Are Overly Politically Correct

Some fucking whore at Wendy’s had the gumption to talk shit to me after I called my friend gay waiting in line for my delicious jr. bacon cheeseburger. This is what happened, not word for word cause I wasn’t fucking recording the conversation, but you'll get the gist:
Friend: "Dude what are you gonna get"
Me: "I think I’m gonna go with the delectable jr bacon cheeseburger and some crunchy outside juicy inside nuggets"
Friend: "Yeah you do love meat"
Me: “Nice dude. youre so gay"
FUCKING WHORE WHO IS NOT PART OF THE CONVERSATION AT ALL: "Excuse me but my brother is gay and I don’t appreciate slurs like that."

Well miss life of the fucking party, I could not give less of a shit about your whore ass or your cock smoking brother. If you can’t deal with the fact that gay has become a slang term for not cool then you may as well jump off an overpass cause you’re up a shit creek without a paddle on that crusade. Furthermore, people like you that get offended by it are just perpetuating the notion that gays are "different" or "discriminated against" by taking offense to a fucking word. Get down off your high horse cause I don’t care if someone is gay, however, I do care if they're an asshole who thinks it’s cool to butt into conversations that they have no place in. I’m sure your brother would rather be gay than be a stupid cunt like you.

And what the fuck is up with the people who want all the sports names like "Blackhawks" and "Redskins" changed? God I’d hate for a team to be called "The Whiteys", that would just be such an insult to me and my people. NOOOOT! That would be cool. And hey, maybe if you’re that into changing the names, why don’t you give them back THE WHOLE FUCKING CONTINENT YOUR GREAT GREAT GREAT GRANDPA FUCKING STOLE FROM THEM?! No? Then shut the fuck up. I don’t think they care as much about a team name as they do about ol granny redcorn getting date raped by john smith and having a bastard son from it. And if they do? Then fuck ‘em they’re stupid assholes. God damn.